Category Archives: Self Awareness

What One Thing Would You Change About Your Life?

Wise Women Chronicles

The One Thing I Would Change is…

First of all, there is no changing the past.
No wishing to be taller, thinner, richer, stronger, smarter.
My Past got me to my Now and, like Popeye, “I yam what I yam.”
I know. This cartoon reference has dated me but I can’t help it.
His whole theme song won’t stop circling in my brain.  You hear it now too, don’t you?

Recap:  I cannot change my past and that is good because my past got me to who and what and where I Am and I accept and am grateful for that awareness.

I cannot change the future because all I have is NOW.
Yes, I believe my thoughts and actions NOW will form my future.
Which is why it is so important to be present and mindful. NOW.

I can and do commit to living, from this moment forward,
with more kindness and compassion for myself and others.
As that famous author Anonymous says, “Every day is a new beginning; take a deep breath and start again.”

What would I never change about my life?

Well, we already established I cannot change my past or future.
I cannot change others, despite the fact that I have desperately and unsuccessfully tried.
I cannot change the world. I am one little drop in a deep, deep ocean.
Metaphysically and philosophically speaking, by changing myself, those changes do ripple outward and affect the ocean of humanity.  But those changes would be impossible to detect and claim.

Two different philosophers’ thoughts on this:

Rumi wrote, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.  Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

Margaret Mead dares us to, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world.  Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Hmmmmm. So my question now is: What would I keep the same?  

My answer:
Nothing stays the same!
Life is always moving, changing, evolving.
Change is inevitable and I spent a whole lot of years resisting and being afraid of change.

That has changed. I now accept change.
Sometimes even welcome and look forward to it.
It scares me less and less and tickles me more and more.

Is your head spinning yet?  I don’t know if I have come full circle or done a loop de loop. And that’s OK because the Wise Women Chronicles is about asking questions and having a conversation.

Remember, there are no wrong Answers.
Just more Questions to keep you
moving forward on your path.

 

 

What Was An “Ah Ha” Moment For You?

Wise Women Chronicles

My Ah Ha Moment Was About My Sis: A couple of years ago our Book Club read “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed (back when we were actually reading books instead of discussing Life). If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie starring Reese Witherspoon, do so.  Both are worthy of your time and your tears. I was quite uncomfortable reading about the lifestyle and risks Cheryl Strayed took.  At our meeting I emphatically stated, “It is totally unnecessary to personally experience the peaks and valleys someone else takes on their Hero’s Journey in order to learn the lessons.  You can simply analyze another’s journey, compare it to your own and then make the changes that would incorporate that knowledge without the pain.” Emphasis on without the pain. I still believe that argument, to a certain extent.  Logically, life could not have kept moving forward if evolution hadn’t included moments … Continue reading →

How Do You Want to Be Remembered?

Wise Women Chronicles

I Want To Be Remembered: As someone who unabashedly and out loud expressed my feelings of joy, surprise, glee or sorrow. I did so as a child. Why not as an adult? As a person who spoke her truth, without stooping to sarcasm or snarkiness. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. So people will know what I stand for and what I won’t tolerate. As a Mom who loved my kids with the fierceness of a protective lioness, the gentle nurturing of a doe, the playfulness of a squirrel and the wisdom of the mother bird who demonstrates to her children how to safely and successfully leave the nest and build their own. As a wife who loved, respected and appreciated my husband as a fellow human, my life partner, the father and co-raiser of my children, an excellent provider, protector and heart mate. As a … Continue reading →

How Well Do You Handle Emergencies?

Wise Women Chronicles

How I Handle Emergencies: In the far past—really poorly. Hubby loves to regale friends and family with stories of when I used to faint at the sight of blood.    My own as well as others. Non-blood emergencies I did not handle much better. Getting lost?  Total panic. Unfamiliar technology?  Total confusion. Conflict and shouting? Total shutdown. Or the reverse of Flight and I went into full knight in armor Fight mode. By midlife—fair to middling. After years of therapy, 12 step programs, metaphysical training and personal growth workshops I was better prepared and more emotionally mature.   Fight or flight turned into stand and  face. Less yelling and crying and more calm detachment and intellectualizing. More recently—pretty well!  I have been able to add Trust, Compassion, Calmness and Clarity to my set of emergency handling skills. Those skills were hard won from years of dealing with family dramas and … Continue reading →

What Small Thing Amazes You?

Wise Women Chronicles

Birds I love the birds that visit our yard. Cardinals and chickadees.  Yellow and purple finch. Hawks and hummingbirds.  Robins, wrens, sparrows and titmice.  Owls and crows and woodpeckers.  And blue jays. I have a special affinity for the blue jays.  Their color is striking and catches my attention no matter the weather or season.   But their call is grating and harsh and they drive the smaller birds away from the bird feeders. So, why do I like them so much? Many summers ago, I heard the blue jays in our bank of burning bushes screaming for help. As my family watched from the deck, I ran into the middle of the 12 foot high bushes like a crazy lady.  Armed with a garden stake I pulled out of the ground, I found a pair of blue jays next to their nest.  They were screaming because they were trying to … Continue reading →

When And How Do You Receive Answers To The Inner Questions You Ask Yourself?

Wise Women Chronicles

The When:  When I am ready to hear the answer. Sometimes it is immediate. For example, my dear Sister-in-Law was visiting. We were standing in my living room and I looked up at her (she is wonderfully tall) and I said, “I wonder why I am so short?”  The answer popped into my head and out of my mouth. “So I can learn to stretch.”  In the chances I take, in trying new ways to live, eat, think and explore who I can BE. She asked out loud, “I wonder why I am so tall?”  Her answer popped out.  “So I can learn to bend.”  Be flexible, less rigid in her opinions, change her own status quo and explore who she can BE. That was an extraordinary moment in both our lives. We are both question askers and prayer sayers.  We believe in asking for divine guidance as well as … Continue reading →

What Happens When We Die?

Wise Women Chronicles

I Don’t Know. I was raised Lutheran, loved going to Sunday School and prayed daily to my God.  The guy with the long beard sitting on a throne in Heaven.  I was promised that when I died, if I had been a “good girl,” I would go to Heaven. Even if I made some bad mistakes, I could “erase” them from my slate by doing good deeds–and still get into Heaven.  My body would be dead but my Soul would be in Heaven with God.  I was totally satisfied with this concept. Until 6th grade, when a friend explained Reincarnation to me.  It made so much sense! The body dies and returns to the earth (“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust”) and the Soul gets another chance in another body. God didn’t want me to fail!  He promised I could be with Him.  Even if it took me 2 or … Continue reading →

When Did You Know You Had Truly Grown Up?

Wise Women Chronicles

Not Until Recently. For 30 plus years I was like Peter Pan, shouting “I won’t grow up!” Adolescence held a kind of magic that I refused to give up. Being a grown up, or a “grup” as in a Star Trek episode where the children literally became sick, crazy and died once they hit puberty, was not for me. My Mom was a grown up.  Serious, responsible, stressed and not playful. When I became a Mom at 31, instead of growing up, I reinvented my own childhood alongside my daughter and we flew side by side covered in fairy dust. At 40, I found a way to let go of Peter’s growing up fears. And I kept the magic. At 50, I allowed myself to become a grown up.  I did not become sick, crazy or die. At 60, I watched with pride, awe and joy when I reached for … Continue reading →

Where Do Your Ancestors Come From?

Wise Women Chronicles

My Ancestors came to America from… Poland. Sweden. Bohemia. And probably some other countries I don’t know about. My Dad’s parents traveled as teenagers on ships from Poland and Bohemia and met in Chicago. My Mom’s grandparents were Swedes who immigrated to Iowa. In other words, my ancestors were IMMIGRANTS. They all came penniless, young, scared, unable to speak English and with few job skills.  They also came with courage, faith, a willingness to work hard and a heart’s desire to become Americans.  To be free, raise families, create businesses and add to the marvelous melting pot that America was. Did they face hardships?  I am certain they did.  Did they leave family in their home countries?  Yes.  Many they would never see again.  Were they made fun of because of their strange clothes or accents?  Probably.  Did they become American citizens, learn English, work hard, buy homes, raise families … Continue reading →

What Kind Of Woman Do You Want To Become?

Wise Women Chronicles

The Kind Of Woman I Want To Become: I think I have become Her. Maybe not the outer ME I thought I wanted to be. The career. The fame. The fortune. The body. The inner ME, much more precious and everlasting, I do claim. A calm I never imagined. A certainty that began as bravado and matured into knowing.                                                                                                                   A searching that led to discovering and uncovering what was already there. A kindness, started in Sunday School, which became a daily event. An intellect gifted at birth and nurtured by teachers. The Woman I … Continue reading →