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Category Archives: Experience

What Was An “Ah Ha” Moment For You?

Wise Women Chronicles

My Ah Ha Moment Was About My Sis:

A couple of years ago our Book Club read “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed (back when we were actually reading books instead of discussing Life). If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie starring Reese Witherspoon, do so.  Both are worthy of your time and your tears.

I was quite uncomfortable reading about the lifestyle and risks Cheryl Strayed took.  At our meeting I emphatically stated, “It is totally unnecessary to personally experience the peaks and valleys someone else takes on their Hero’s Journey in order to learn the lessons.  You can simply analyze another’s journey, compare it to your own and then make the changes that would incorporate that knowledge without the pain.” Emphasis on without the pain.

I still believe that argument, to a certain extent.  Logically, life could not have kept moving forward if evolution hadn’t included moments of “Oh, don’t try to pet that saber tooth tiger like your dead friend did.  Kill it before it kills you!”  We humans are trainable.

My AHA moment came several days later during a therapeutic massage/somato emotional release when I connected my anger with Cheryl’s “Wild” life and my residual anger with one of my siblings.  Sis #3 whose own Wild life came to an abrupt end in 2007 at the age of 42.

Despite her self destructive life choices, Cheryl Strayed changed her life as she took her Hero’s Journey walking 1,100 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) for 94 days.  She learned her lessons, restarted her life, wrote her book and shared her hard won wisdom with millions of people.  Cheryl continues writing books, touring the country and inspiring people to find their Truth.

My Sis didn’t walk the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT).  She climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. Sis white water rafted.  Biked across the Midwest. Participated in triathlons.  Catapulted up the corporate chain.  She was the Queen of Charm and the Princess of Everything Else. Her highs were sooo high.  Those of us who loved her thrilled at her adventures and tucked a tiny portion of her successes into our souls. We were filled with pride and admiration of her courage and tenacity.

Sis also walked the path that led Cheryl Strayed to the PCT.  A path littered with abusive partners, addiction, deceit and desperation.  Her lows were bottomless.  Those of us who loved her worried and watched with concern during those dark years.  After an intervention and some serious life work Sis, like Cheryl, came out on the other side. She made it through the woods.  She completed her Hero’s Journey, learned her lessons, made many changes, found more peace than she had previously known–and then boom. Speeding down a hill on her bike, she did not brake nor see the truck.

My anger, I realized, was not at they way she used to live, but that she no longer lived. So many people loved her.  She had fierce friends.  Respected colleagues.  Family that adored her.  She lit up a room and lived her life full out.  As a little girl she used to say, “Look at me!”  And we all did.  She did not burn both ends of a candle.  Sis burned both ends of a huge Roman candle.  The resulting fireworks display was memorable and magnificent!  And in the end, deadly.

Eleven years later, I still miss her. Watching her life was like watching the solar eclipse.  Thrilling up to the point when you have to look away or else be blinded. Sis did not blink.  Ever.  I am now at peace because I believe she accomplished all she came to Earth to experience and she has moved on to her next great adventure.  One that us mere mortals cannot see.

AHA moments are filled with joy, wonder and tears.
And sometimes pain.
I am so grateful that my little sister
continues to teach me
how to live
with all the above.

 

Posted in Acceptance, Addiction, Change, Death, Experience, Hero's Journey, Love, Memory, Mission, Self Awareness

How Do You Want to Be Remembered?

Wise Women Chronicles

I Want To Be Remembered: As someone who unabashedly and out loud expressed my feelings of joy, surprise, glee or sorrow. I did so as a child. Why not as an adult? As a person who spoke her truth, without stooping to sarcasm or snarkiness. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. So people will know what I stand for and what I won’t tolerate. As a Mom who loved my kids with the fierceness of a protective lioness, the gentle nurturing of a doe, the playfulness of a squirrel and the wisdom of the mother bird who demonstrates to her children how to safely and successfully leave the nest and build their own. As a wife who loved, respected and appreciated my husband as a fellow human, my life partner, the father and co-raiser of my children, an excellent provider, protector and heart mate. As a … Continue reading →

Posted in Children, Death, Experience, Listening, Love, Marriage, Memory, Motherhood, Self Awareness

How Well Do You Handle Emergencies?

Wise Women Chronicles

How I Handle Emergencies: In the far past—really poorly. Hubby loves to regale friends and family with stories of when I used to faint at the sight of blood.    My own as well as others. Non-blood emergencies I did not handle much better. Getting lost?  Total panic. Unfamiliar technology?  Total confusion. Conflict and shouting? Total shutdown. Or the reverse of Flight and I went into full knight in armor Fight mode. By midlife—fair to middling. After years of therapy, 12 step programs, metaphysical training and personal growth workshops I was better prepared and more emotionally mature.   Fight or flight turned into stand and  face. Less yelling and crying and more calm detachment and intellectualizing. More recently—pretty well!  I have been able to add Trust, Compassion, Calmness and Clarity to my set of emergency handling skills. Those skills were hard won from years of dealing with family dramas and … Continue reading →

Posted in Experience, Faith, Grace, gratitude, Love, Memory, Safety, Self Awareness

When Did You Know You Had Truly Grown Up?

Wise Women Chronicles

Not Until Recently. For 30 plus years I was like Peter Pan, shouting “I won’t grow up!” Adolescence held a kind of magic that I refused to give up. Being a grown up, or a “grup” as in a Star Trek episode where the children literally became sick, crazy and died once they hit puberty, was not for me. My Mom was a grown up.  Serious, responsible, stressed and not playful. When I became a Mom at 31, instead of growing up, I reinvented my own childhood alongside my daughter and we flew side by side covered in fairy dust. At 40, I found a way to let go of Peter’s growing up fears. And I kept the magic. At 50, I allowed myself to become a grown up.  I did not become sick, crazy or die. At 60, I watched with pride, awe and joy when I reached for … Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Attitude, Experience, gratitude, Grown Up, Self Awareness
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