Category Archives: Change

What One Thing Would You Change About Your Life?

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The One Thing I Would Change is…

First of all, there is no changing the past.
No wishing to be taller, thinner, richer, stronger, smarter.
My Past got me to my Now and, like Popeye, “I yam what I yam.”
I know. This cartoon reference has dated me but I can’t help it.
His whole theme song won’t stop circling in my brain.  You hear it now too, don’t you?

Recap:  I cannot change my past and that is good because my past got me to who and what and where I Am and I accept and am grateful for that awareness.

I cannot change the future because all I have is NOW.
Yes, I believe my thoughts and actions NOW will form my future.
Which is why it is so important to be present and mindful. NOW.

I can and do commit to living, from this moment forward,
with more kindness and compassion for myself and others.
As that famous author Anonymous says, “Every day is a new beginning; take a deep breath and start again.”

What would I never change about my life?

Well, we already established I cannot change my past or future.
I cannot change others, despite the fact that I have desperately and unsuccessfully tried.
I cannot change the world. I am one little drop in a deep, deep ocean.
Metaphysically and philosophically speaking, by changing myself, those changes do ripple outward and affect the ocean of humanity.  But those changes would be impossible to detect and claim.

Two different philosophers’ thoughts on this:

Rumi wrote, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.  Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

Margaret Mead dares us to, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world.  Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Hmmmmm. So my question now is: What would I keep the same?  

My answer:
Nothing stays the same!
Life is always moving, changing, evolving.
Change is inevitable and I spent a whole lot of years resisting and being afraid of change.

That has changed. I now accept change.
Sometimes even welcome and look forward to it.
It scares me less and less and tickles me more and more.

Is your head spinning yet?  I don’t know if I have come full circle or done a loop de loop. And that’s OK because the Wise Women Chronicles is about asking questions and having a conversation.

Remember, there are no wrong Answers.
Just more Questions to keep you
moving forward on your path.

 

 

What Was An “Ah Ha” Moment For You?

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My Ah Ha Moment Was About My Sis: A couple of years ago our Book Club read “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed (back when we were actually reading books instead of discussing Life). If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie starring Reese Witherspoon, do so.  Both are worthy of your time and your tears. I was quite uncomfortable reading about the lifestyle and risks Cheryl Strayed took.  At our meeting I emphatically stated, “It is totally unnecessary to personally experience the peaks and valleys someone else takes on their Hero’s Journey in order to learn the lessons.  You can simply analyze another’s journey, compare it to your own and then make the changes that would incorporate that knowledge without the pain.” Emphasis on without the pain. I still believe that argument, to a certain extent.  Logically, life could not have kept moving forward if evolution hadn’t included moments … Continue reading →

Where Do Your Ancestors Come From?

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My Ancestors came to America from… Poland. Sweden. Bohemia. And probably some other countries I don’t know about. My Dad’s parents traveled as teenagers on ships from Poland and Bohemia and met in Chicago. My Mom’s grandparents were Swedes who immigrated to Iowa. In other words, my ancestors were IMMIGRANTS. They all came penniless, young, scared, unable to speak English and with few job skills.  They also came with courage, faith, a willingness to work hard and a heart’s desire to become Americans.  To be free, raise families, create businesses and add to the marvelous melting pot that America was. Did they face hardships?  I am certain they did.  Did they leave family in their home countries?  Yes.  Many they would never see again.  Were they made fun of because of their strange clothes or accents?  Probably.  Did they become American citizens, learn English, work hard, buy homes, raise families … Continue reading →

What Kind Of Woman Do You Want To Become?

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The Kind Of Woman I Want To Become: I think I have become Her. Maybe not the outer ME I thought I wanted to be. The career. The fame. The fortune. The body. The inner ME, much more precious and everlasting, I do claim. A calm I never imagined. A certainty that began as bravado and matured into knowing.                                                                                                                   A searching that led to discovering and uncovering what was already there. A kindness, started in Sunday School, which became a daily event. An intellect gifted at birth and nurtured by teachers. The Woman I … Continue reading →

What Advice Would You Give To A Student In College?

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The Advice I Gave My Son In College: Dear Son: I enjoyed seeing you this weekend.  I believe we had some heartfelt and open conversations.  I  also think we did not complete or further advance some important conversations we started. Dad and I are pleased to hear from you that you are doing a good job managing your time, putting in the time for your homework and getting your assignments handed in on time.  You also told me you feel you are doing a good job adjusting to your college class schedule as well as your personal schedule (waking up and sleeping, eating in the cafeteria, getting some exerercise, making new acquaintances, etc). As you have discovered, Time Management is one of the important lessons you get to learn at college.  You told me you have several big assignments/projects coming up and you said you were concerned about when you … Continue reading →

When is Your Hardest Time of the Year?

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  My Hardest Times of the Year–July and January. My Months of Loss. My sister and my father in July. My two sister in laws in January. Months we celebrate Independence and New beginnings. For me, these months were painful.  Unbearable. So I wrote down my sadness.  Rolled in my sorrow. After time and tears, I began to feel joy again, And I rejoiced, Knowing they had safely journeyed Home. Here are some of my messages, to them and to those of us left behind, waiting to be reunited. We do not choose our fates and futures. They choose us. Because we have earned them. Because they move us along our path. They are not punishments. They are rewards. For being human, And vulnerable, And open To Love. I don’t simply admire my brothers. I aspire to be like my brothers. Gentle. Loving. Filled not with Duty but with Devotion. … Continue reading →

How Do You Embrace Change?

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How Do I Embrace Change? “Embrace” is a strong word. To me, it implies full commitment . Heart and Soul.  Without reservation. Maybe even a bit of “I went out searching for this thing and Hallelujah, I found it!” My life has been a gradual journey through, what I call, The Four Stages of Change. NO CHANGE: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” OR “That change is waaaay too scary to think about.” FORCED CHANGE: “If you want something better, you have to do something different. You know darn well THEY aren’t going to change, so YOU have to.” ACCEPTING CHANGE: “OK. This isn’t too scary or different.  It’s do-able.” EMBRACING CHANGE: “Yes, yes, yes. This is what I want.  Thank you, (God, Buddha, Yahweh, Great Spirit, Universe, etc)!!” Depending on the actual change, it can take me decades or minutes to go from NO CHANGE to EMBRACING CHANGE. Examples: Can I drive myself around … Continue reading →

How Do You Truly Forgive Someone Who Has Wronged You?

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How Do I Truly Forgive Someone Who Has Wronged Me? Especially when I feel like a muddy, miserable unloved puppy? I start by changing my mindset to an Attitude of Gratitude. Being grateful that I have a choice. No matter the circumstance, I always have the ability to choose my response. Being mindful of the causative circumstance and remembering that there are at least two sides to every story–not just my side of the story. Being compassionate and open hearted and accepting that the other person may have experienced their own hurt and could be lashing out at whoever is available.  Like ME. Being brave enough to be honest with myself and admitting how I contributed to the offense.  This allows me to be able to forgive myself. Then I “woman up” and admit my part to the offender, ask them to accept my apology and ask for their forgiveness. … Continue reading →

If You Could Make Anything Grow on a Tree, What Would It Be?

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If I Could Make Anything Grow on a Tree, It Would Be… The Seeds of Change Anyone can reach out to this tree, at any time. All they need do is desire change, trust, put out their hand and the seed they most need, the one that is for their highest good, will drop into their hands. The seed is not identified. It is revealed only after it is planted and begins to grow. If the person continues to be open, the Seed’s message will be revealed as it takes its form. Someone who only sees life in black or white, wrong or right, their Seed of Change will become a flower in magnificent shades of grey. Someone who believes they have no worth, their Seed becomes a flower whose beauty is beyond price. Someone who is ostentatious and constantly seeks attention, their Seed becomes a simple weed. A prickly person … Continue reading →