Do I Set, Respect and Maintain My Boundaries?
There is a cold, clean and clear core at my center that calls out its name–ME.
It has always been there, though for decades I did not hear it as strongly as I do now.
My awareness of it began in my early 30’s when I was taught the difference between being self-centered and selfish. My cultural teaching had told me that being self-centered was instead selfish. I “should” think of and do for others before myself. My new definitions allowed me to begin building healthy boundaries for myself and recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.
Some boundaries are easy to establish:
“That’s my stuff. Don’t touch it!”
Others are not.
My boundary between the time and effort my children wanted from me or
what I thought they deserved from me:
Oh, that has been a tough one. I hesitated on erecting those boundaries, letting myself get dangerously close to losing myself. God put people in my path who showed me that those boundaries are just as necessary for my survival as it is for theirs.
My boundary on judging myself and others:
That one is in a quasi-stable state, often needing repair and redefinition.
Other boundaries of work, volunteering and community:
They came with time and maturity and an understanding of “enough is enough!”
Do I respect other people’s boundaries?
Mostly. More often if I am centered and confident of my own self worth.
Less often if I am wobbly on myself and looking for a scapegoat.
My ability to recognize when I have trespassed someone’s boundary increases each time I do so and I am grateful for those opportunities to learn from my mistakes and to make amends. Although, at times, I must admit, I can be a bit…bull-headed.