Category Archives: Acceptance

What One Thing Would You Change About Your Life?

Wise Women Chronicles

The One Thing I Would Change is…

First of all, there is no changing the past.
No wishing to be taller, thinner, richer, stronger, smarter.
My Past got me to my Now and, like Popeye, “I yam what I yam.”
I know. This cartoon reference has dated me but I can’t help it.
His whole theme song won’t stop circling in my brain.  You hear it now too, don’t you?

Recap:  I cannot change my past and that is good because my past got me to who and what and where I Am and I accept and am grateful for that awareness.

I cannot change the future because all I have is NOW.
Yes, I believe my thoughts and actions NOW will form my future.
Which is why it is so important to be present and mindful. NOW.

I can and do commit to living, from this moment forward,
with more kindness and compassion for myself and others.
As that famous author Anonymous says, “Every day is a new beginning; take a deep breath and start again.”

What would I never change about my life?

Well, we already established I cannot change my past or future.
I cannot change others, despite the fact that I have desperately and unsuccessfully tried.
I cannot change the world. I am one little drop in a deep, deep ocean.
Metaphysically and philosophically speaking, by changing myself, those changes do ripple outward and affect the ocean of humanity.  But those changes would be impossible to detect and claim.

Two different philosophers’ thoughts on this:

Rumi wrote, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.  Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

Margaret Mead dares us to, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world.  Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Hmmmmm. So my question now is: What would I keep the same?  

My answer:
Nothing stays the same!
Life is always moving, changing, evolving.
Change is inevitable and I spent a whole lot of years resisting and being afraid of change.

That has changed. I now accept change.
Sometimes even welcome and look forward to it.
It scares me less and less and tickles me more and more.

Is your head spinning yet?  I don’t know if I have come full circle or done a loop de loop. And that’s OK because the Wise Women Chronicles is about asking questions and having a conversation.

Remember, there are no wrong Answers.
Just more Questions to keep you
moving forward on your path.

 

 

What Was An “Ah Ha” Moment For You?

Wise Women Chronicles

My Ah Ha Moment Was About My Sis: A couple of years ago our Book Club read “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed (back when we were actually reading books instead of discussing Life). If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie starring Reese Witherspoon, do so.  Both are worthy of your time and your tears. I was quite uncomfortable reading about the lifestyle and risks Cheryl Strayed took.  At our meeting I emphatically stated, “It is totally unnecessary to personally experience the peaks and valleys someone else takes on their Hero’s Journey in order to learn the lessons.  You can simply analyze another’s journey, compare it to your own and then make the changes that would incorporate that knowledge without the pain.” Emphasis on without the pain. I still believe that argument, to a certain extent.  Logically, life could not have kept moving forward if evolution hadn’t included moments … Continue reading →

When And How Do You Receive Answers To The Inner Questions You Ask Yourself?

Wise Women Chronicles

The When:  When I am ready to hear the answer. Sometimes it is immediate. For example, my dear Sister-in-Law was visiting. We were standing in my living room and I looked up at her (she is wonderfully tall) and I said, “I wonder why I am so short?”  The answer popped into my head and out of my mouth. “So I can learn to stretch.”  In the chances I take, in trying new ways to live, eat, think and explore who I can BE. She asked out loud, “I wonder why I am so tall?”  Her answer popped out.  “So I can learn to bend.”  Be flexible, less rigid in her opinions, change her own status quo and explore who she can BE. That was an extraordinary moment in both our lives. We are both question askers and prayer sayers.  We believe in asking for divine guidance as well as … Continue reading →

When Did You Know You Had Truly Grown Up?

Wise Women Chronicles

Not Until Recently. For 30 plus years I was like Peter Pan, shouting “I won’t grow up!” Adolescence held a kind of magic that I refused to give up. Being a grown up, or a “grup” as in a Star Trek episode where the children literally became sick, crazy and died once they hit puberty, was not for me. My Mom was a grown up.  Serious, responsible, stressed and not playful. When I became a Mom at 31, instead of growing up, I reinvented my own childhood alongside my daughter and we flew side by side covered in fairy dust. At 40, I found a way to let go of Peter’s growing up fears. And I kept the magic. At 50, I allowed myself to become a grown up.  I did not become sick, crazy or die. At 60, I watched with pride, awe and joy when I reached for … Continue reading →

When is Your Hardest Time of the Year?

Wise Women Chronicles

  My Hardest Times of the Year–July and January. My Months of Loss. My sister and my father in July. My two sister in laws in January. Months we celebrate Independence and New beginnings. For me, these months were painful.  Unbearable. So I wrote down my sadness.  Rolled in my sorrow. After time and tears, I began to feel joy again, And I rejoiced, Knowing they had safely journeyed Home. Here are some of my messages, to them and to those of us left behind, waiting to be reunited. We do not choose our fates and futures. They choose us. Because we have earned them. Because they move us along our path. They are not punishments. They are rewards. For being human, And vulnerable, And open To Love. I don’t simply admire my brothers. I aspire to be like my brothers. Gentle. Loving. Filled not with Duty but with Devotion. … Continue reading →

How Do You Embrace Change?

Wise Women Chronicles

How Do I Embrace Change? “Embrace” is a strong word. To me, it implies full commitment . Heart and Soul.  Without reservation. Maybe even a bit of “I went out searching for this thing and Hallelujah, I found it!” My life has been a gradual journey through, what I call, The Four Stages of Change. NO CHANGE: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” OR “That change is waaaay too scary to think about.” FORCED CHANGE: “If you want something better, you have to do something different. You know darn well THEY aren’t going to change, so YOU have to.” ACCEPTING CHANGE: “OK. This isn’t too scary or different.  It’s do-able.” EMBRACING CHANGE: “Yes, yes, yes. This is what I want.  Thank you, (God, Buddha, Yahweh, Great Spirit, Universe, etc)!!” Depending on the actual change, it can take me decades or minutes to go from NO CHANGE to EMBRACING CHANGE. Examples: Can I drive myself around … Continue reading →

How Do You Truly Forgive Someone Who Has Wronged You?

Wise Women Chronicles

How Do I Truly Forgive Someone Who Has Wronged Me? Especially when I feel like a muddy, miserable unloved puppy? I start by changing my mindset to an Attitude of Gratitude. Being grateful that I have a choice. No matter the circumstance, I always have the ability to choose my response. Being mindful of the causative circumstance and remembering that there are at least two sides to every story–not just my side of the story. Being compassionate and open hearted and accepting that the other person may have experienced their own hurt and could be lashing out at whoever is available.  Like ME. Being brave enough to be honest with myself and admitting how I contributed to the offense.  This allows me to be able to forgive myself. Then I “woman up” and admit my part to the offender, ask them to accept my apology and ask for their forgiveness. … Continue reading →

What is the Greatest Lesson Your Father Taught You?

Wise Women Chronicles

What is the Greatest Lesson My Father Taught Me? A parent is always a parent, no matter how long they–or you–live. A wise parent knows when to stop actively parenting and just BE a parent. Family was everything to my father.  Sure, he loved his sports, his work, traveling.  But his true love was our Mom and us five kids. He worked hard to provide a comfortable life for his family.  Clothes. Camping. College.  As his success increased so did his free time. Instead of giving that time to himself, he gave it to us. I left the nest first. As each of us kids flew off, every year our parents provided us a way home.  They were united in their commitment to keep us kids close to them and close to each other.  Vacation destinations were offered as loving bait to bring us back together. As our individual families … Continue reading →

What is the Lesson That Took You the Longest to Learn?

Wise Women Chronicles

What Lesson Took Me the Longest to Learn? The Lesson I have yet to master: Self Discipline. As I see myself beating myself up about this, I realize that I have packed pretty much EVERYTHING in this category. Diet. Exercise. Meditation. Mindfulness Minute by minute kindness and compassion. Immediate follow up on every thought and commitment. Sleeping schedule. Bill paying schedule. Writing schedule. The list goes on and on. So why do I call it all Self Discipline? Why do I want my life to be so scheduled, so ruled by my never ending “Have-to-Do” list? Not only do I hear this constant call to action, but that Inner Voice, the nasty “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named,” exhorts me to: Execute. Excellence. Every. Time. After all, as Maya Angelou said, “If you know better, you do better.” Because, THEN, if I did all the above, I would be perfect. And I would be done. … Continue reading →

What Would Happen If Everyone Could Just Love Each Other?

Wise Women Chronicles

If Everyone Could Just Love Each Other… I think it would be like the vision I had one night.  Partly awake, partly still in the dream, I started crying because I was so grateful for the loving people in my life.  People who have supported me, forgiven me, encouraged me. Good, loving, kind people who are traveling a purposeful road in life.  These people have helped me become the ME I am today. Then I thought about people who have created turmoil or unhappiness in my life and thought, “They are just as much a piece of me as the others.  I am grateful to them also.”  A family member struggling with mental illness and drugs.  Another who found fault with everyone, including me.  Old bosses who didn’t appreciate my contributions to the corporate world. My list grew.  How about a man in prison?  A woman in Africa dying of AIDS?  A … Continue reading →